Today I'm doing something a little different. Assuming it's fine to "just link up" to this beautiful gathering, I'm offering an older post and sharing it again here - and with everyone at It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday. Click this line to see what others have to offer!
This was first posted on July 29, 2013....
sometimes must wrestle myself into prayer. It often seems that I'm
waging an all-out battle against distractions, laziness, daydreams,
aridity, and sudden inexplicable desires to latch onto any shiny bit of
trivia that will keep me from praying.
This makes no sense.
Himself, the Creator of the universe and the One Who loves me beyond all
imagining, is waiting to comfort and heal and bless and listen to me.
He is, quite literally, waiting.
And I, in effect, ignore Him so I can turn my attention to....... what?
see. In just the last few days, I've put off prayer in order to focus
my attention on junk mail, crossword puzzles, television, a book just
borrowed, idle chatter, tiredness, a fleeting headache, various
Internet links, and at least one catalog order that suddenly "had to" be
placed right then and there and not half an hour later.
I don't see anything at all there about my family or the work I've
needed to do. All I see is a list of totally inconsequential things
that suddenly become of paramount importance when weighed against
spending time with, well... with the Author of Life.
See what I mean? It makes no sense.
morning I was graced with a glimpse of the senselessness. Weakly, I
asked God for help. That's when the thought crossed my mind: "at least
go through the motions." Don't feel like taking time for prayer? Take
a few minutes anyway. Don't feel inspired? Pick up a prayer book and
mouth some words. The Bible and Breviary seem to weigh a ton today? ("oh...hooow will I ever liiift them?!"). Pick one up anyway. Make the effort. Do something. If your heart feels wired shut, at least open your mouth.
Go through the motions.
did. With a heart that felt like dried, fissured, ancient rock, I
tried to focus while my mind flitted .... somewhere. With mind
unengaged, heart uninvolved, attention scattered to dusty winds, I went
through the motions.
it happened. Like a lamp in a house whose electricity had been out,
suddenly I knew I was connected. It felt as if chains were shattered,
and indeed - I think that's true. But that would not have happened if I
hadn't begun by going through the motions.
Tomorrow is another day. I know how this goes: it's a daily battle. I will face it again, and again.
I pray for grace to go through the motions.
Painting above: Sir Samuel Luke fildes 1882
With thanks to It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday for the link-up!